Barca Emerges from Snark Infested Waters Washed Clean, Joan Conrow and Gary Hooser star in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?

For Dustin Barca, Gary hooser and others the feared Snark Shark has been infesting the waters of kaua'i heavily lately. But nevah fea! We got da top notch snarkshark repellent right here, so read on!

Dustin Barca, amazing all around guy whop finishes what he says he is going to finish, and starts what he says he is gonna start is looking pretty good in a recent Garden Island readers online poll, which probably makes the Garden Island wish they had given more face time to Barca. Clicking the side bar this week, asks readers if they will be voting for an incumbent, a newbie, or they don't vote. The bar for "Newbie" was soaring into the stratosphere. Its what we here on Snarklectic have been saying all along. The establishment, and status quo is over, people. It's a new era. One, a lot of old fogies, and stick in the muds, and conservatives, and good ol boys n girls aren't going to like much. They will be dragged from center stage kicking and swearing and frothing at the mouth, but there really isn't anything that they can do about it.

Kaua'i is like a damsel in distress, after being hurled over the cliff by the dastardly villains, and hanging onto a rocky outcrop by the pads of her fingers barely hanging on, while the heroes figure out where she is, and how to save her in time, and the villains try to stomp on her fingers to dislodge her and send her to her certain demise, all because she rebuffed their advances.

Sound familiar? Put a label on that from a multitude of sources. Big Ag seed companies, corporations, big fat moneyed developers, ineptitude, and even nepotism and racism. People have pretty much had enough of all of it, they are fed up and just simply not gonna take it any more. They are sick of the Snark in the Park" mentality of these transplanted losers who couldnt make it to the bigitme on the mainland, so want to make it here on Kauai, thi8nking we are all a bunch of ignorant stupid little bumpkins because we live in the middle of nowhere in the middle of nowhere.

Dang, man, really? Seriously? Bigoted much? Racist much? They move here form other places in the mainland, like the Midwest, or the middle of the country the bible belt, or where3rver, and they think they are God Fearin Christian Conservative Values good ole folk, and those silly little local critters sure run a funny island, and sure don't know how to run stuff. They spend a lot of time blogging about it analyzing it, and giving their Kentucky fried belly version of what should be done.


It is so interesting to read all of their thinly.y veiled comments. Like all good Mainland racists, "Local People", or "Hawaiians", or "whomever", are only good people if they bow, scrape, bend over, and follow a good conservative agenda, like all good little people of lesser value, (and color, ethnic prigin, sexual orientation, or god forbid liberal hippies!), should. If they don't, waaaaaahhhhllll....we gonna show them lil yappers.

*Cue the mists. A corporate looking palefaced skinned male Caucasian in his middle 50's who looks like his skin hasn't seen the light of day in 55 years, steps out onto the beach, where Dustin is known to surf so hard, the sand cries and begs him to stop, lifting his indignant fist in the air, surrounded by Snarkie Fisties 500o people deep, all raging, and snarking, and fists in da air, and some even using strange salutes, and others, dressed like the prancersize lady, and others just old, unfun, and not cool, as opposed to old and fun and cool, which is awesome, waving American flags, and eating GMO popcorn, and spraying each other with roundup, and doing strange dances on the sand, and accusing Barca of running over the fish while he is surfing, and about 50 of them dialing up NOAA to report him.  THrough all of this, the lone man steps foreword, briefcase full of cash, and secret documents, with Joan Cornrows close behind, as he passes her some, and she scurries off to her dark rathole to write her next blogpost, as commanded by her financial overlords, and then, the lone man begins to yell these words:

" Yessiree, we is gonn a get on soshoooollll meeeedddiiiaaaahhhh an give em a whuppin!. Not only that, why, we can make some huge big fusses, and call for things to change on this thar darn island, but not in those lil anchor baby local style hippie dippy lazy unedumacated Hawai''''yan ways, no sirree bob!. We is gonna change thangs for the good of the good ol mom, apply pie, the American way, and good old taco bell and Chinese food restaurants everywhere!. We need our fat, sugar, salt and msg man! Its the American way!. Give us our MFIN GMO's, and STFU, you little windbag losers! We is gonna vote in a CIIITEEEEE MANAWWWWGGGEERRRRRRRR, so all you high falutin hippies n lazy stooopid Hawaiians can get the fuck outta dodge n shut the fuck up and git back to work like the second class citizens you are, man!.


Git out da WAY, so we can git rid of all of these local kine leaders, and scoop em out and off da cliffs. We is gonna replace all and ever-buddy with them goddamn lawyers, n attorneys, n corporation heads, and sell outs, n dee-vel-operz, man! Das right, and all oif you baby whiuning panty ass losers isn't gonna git crfp from us! You guys want lifeguards>? Then make your own lifeguard brigade, man. You want food, git out thar in thjem thar filds, n pick some cotton you lazy no food fer nuttin whinin Hawaiians. We taint gonna give u dumb asses a dime for crap. you all want housing? go and make yourself one of dem coconut thatch houses we seen in dem dar magazines a long while back. yeah thats right you losers git back to the land n don't expect nuttin from us!"

"We gots the law on our side, n we gots the smarts, n we gots the edumacation, n we gots da land, and we done took over yer stoopid lil culture, n we use it to make u s pile o cash. Thas right. What chu gonna do about it? Nuttin, cuz u guys dont got the balls. thas right. n if u guys dont wanna do things our way, we gots a nice crowded lil jail for u guys thats right. u wanna vote? we gonna make so many new laws here, u wont be able to crap without landing your ass in a court of law. thas right. we got sp[ies everywhere. we gonna have each and every one of you guys in litigation somehow. thas right. cuz we do things the AMERICAN way, around theses here parts from now on! Kiss yer culture goodbye! Kiss your Nepotism goodbye! Kiss yer local leaders goodbye! And kiss all those stupid Hawaiian names for towns n crap goodbye! They are too hard to pronounce anyways!"


"We is goonna build us some darn tootin skyscrapers on every single bluff on Kauai thats right, man the first thing we gonna do is rewrite every single goddamn law you stupid little pinhead anti development anti gmo anti better then you mainland people ever tried to pass! We are gonna overturn it all! Say hello to Waikiki you stupid suckers We rule!...MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH."


"Your stupid little barca don't stand a chance. Your mayor was our puppet for years. hes just a nice dumb guy like the rest of you losers, and oh so easy to0 manipulate. we just use that Hawaiian blood and his good nature, to use him as our shield against the rest of you poor suckers. bet you are torn for voting for him n barca huh? yeah you are. thats how we wanted it. we got all of your panties in a local, style Hawaiian dilemma. hahaha. you cant win either way we will win.; its over we won the island is OURS. we got every politician left so deep into our pockets, they aint never coming up for air even if they want too. We let em all stay in so long, their brains are all so pickled they cant even write a decent law anymore without pissing off all of you. eyah thats right. and we love it when the dweebs all staret fighting with each other. see thats where we get our boy, the city manager in. a nice haole man from the mainland, thats pro money, pro gmo, pro development, and dagfinst every damn one of your nanny state bullshit laws you idiots passed in the last 50 years. its all gonna get overturned you suckers."

"During this rant, Dustin Barca, silently emerged from a large wave, riding a tricked out super 8", with a quad fin, and as he got deep into the bowl, the ranting frothing guy, was scooped out, by these giant mechanical arms, and then tossed so far that his head hit Lehua island, while Barca, slid into the sands of Polihale, put a for rent sign on all da gmo fields, and then ran to Lihue, skipped the elevator at the Round building, took one gigantic MMA leap, landed over the railing, tossed off his duffel bag, got undressed all surfer style without showing anything, and got on his chinos, nice shirt, lei, and dress shirt, scooped his hair back, flipped on his shapes, smiled that great smile, opened the door gently and walked inside his new offices at the Mayors office, shaking every ones hand, and saying "Hoiwzit, I'm the new boss, not the same as the old boss!"

And then, the mists clear, and we rub out eyes, and we realize we are sitting in our office in front of our computers. We have all just had the same vision, and we all begin to look at each otehr. We know what we must do. We must turn the tide. Now is the time, now is the hour, now is our power!", we all begin to relentlessly chant, while our fingers all fly across the keyboard, like barca in a Barrel going at about 85 knots per hour, and doing an alley oops about 75 feet into the air, we are energized.

Firs, we check out Joan Cornrow post for today. She is railing against Gary Hooser. As Usual, calling whatever he is u0p to diengenuous, sneaky, underhanded, evil, corrupt, horrible and also, despicable.


So, here is Joan's post for today, and our breakdown of it. Our analysis? She gots no play baby. Its so thin you can see Na Pali coast through it. In detail. Leaf for leaf. No substance, just a lot of hot blowing air. Which one of our staff suggests could run Kaia Electric if we let it. We agree and think that would be a fine use of the air from that old dry salty windbag.

So, here it is Kurds. Donut worry. She is all Bark and No Bite.  But we thought it was important to show jut how little the old gal has got left to play with in her arsenal./ writting is on the wall, she is on her way off to stage left, don't forget to turn out da lights baby. Its a new era on Kauai. One where the real peeps take back the island, and save the damsel in distress from the evil villain overlords.


Right off the bat, our favorite part of this blog today, is one of Joans snarkie fistie commentators, and yes the Queen of "I am innocent i didn't do nothin" Joan Cornrows herself. When questioned about the donation button on her blog, ect, *thanks guys for calling her on it, FINALLY*

CLEAR RULES FOR PUTTING A DONATION BUTTON ON BLOGGER> THERE ARE ALSO EVEN STRICTER RULES FOR PAYPAL. YOU MUSGT BE A LEGITIMATE NPO OR A LEGITIMATE NON PROFIT ORGANIZATION AND STATE A PURPOSE>< AND A FORMAT< AND ABIDE BY HAWAII LAW AND STATUTE TO SOLICIT FUNDS IN A NOT FOR PROFIT CAPACITY IE DONATIONS> ONCE YOU REACH THE 10 THOUSAND MARK FOR DONATIONS YOU MUST REVEAL WHAT YOUR NPO IS AND MUST PROVE THAT THE MONEY IS INDEED GOING O A LEGITIMATE NPO SEE THIS BLOG FOR MORE INFORMATION 6/5/2014 Post.

QUESTIONABLE STUFF IN YELLOW, Our Snark in red.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE KAUAI SNARKLECTIC THREE MUSES


The Story of the Muses by Encyclopedia Brittania since Joan hates google scholars. and wikipedia.

The Three Muses, Muse reporters, Marita Blaclalan,Tani Safoaffasafoatata, and Sassamito Tasanakamoto

Marita Blaclalan

Tani Safoaffasafoatata,

Sassamito Tasanakamoto 

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: The names and faces here are fictitious. This also includes the CHARACTER of Cheston Waiwaha from yesterdays blogpost. This is a work of fiction, about non fictional crap, crapped by a real person, that we are parodying,dissing,raging and snarking on. with. If you don't understand the concept of "characters", and "fiction", please turn off the comp, and back away. These are not even people. They are computer generated, and live solely in the world of 3D animation. The coincidence of them looking like anyone you know is just that. They are not meant to be anyone living, dead, or zombie. So get over it. -sincerely, The kaua'i Snarklectic publishing team

DISCLAIMER: 

THIS BLOG IS NOT ENDORSED BY THE OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN OF DUSTIN BARCA FOR MAYOR. HE NOR HIS STAFF HAVE NO LEGAL AFFILIATION OR CONNECTION WITH THIS BLOG. THE OPINIONS ON THIS BLOG ARE THE OPINIONS OF THE WRITER/S, ALONE, AND ARE THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUAL/S THEREFORE NO STATEMENTS MADE HERE BE ATTRIBUTED IN ANY WAY TO MR. BARCA, OR HIS OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN

 

 

WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS:

 

 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Musings: Prescience and Predictability

It wasn't prescience, but political predictability, that prompted me to previously proclaim that Kauai County Councilman Gary Hooser was using the anti-GMO movement to position himself as the head of an organization.me, me,me,me,me,me,me,I,I,I,I,i,i,i, i,i,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And sure enough, shortly after he filed for re-election, Gary announced he is president of a newly formed nonprofit — Hawaii Alliance for Progressive Action, or HAPA — and immediately began soliciting donations.UNLIKE JOAN WHO DOESN'T SOLICIT DONATIONS>>>AD NAUSEUM>>>EVERY DAY>>>WI(THOUT REVEALING HER SOURCES< FUNDING OR REASONS FOR IT> WHY IS SHE ASKING FOR DONATIONS? THERE IS A CLEAR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OFFERING A SERVICE< AND ASKING PEOPLE TO PAY FOR THAT SERVICE< BY CHARGING A SET FEE< AND ASKING FOR A DONATION< WHICH MUST BE FOR A DELIBERATE AND STATED NOT FOR PROFIT PURPOSE. LIKE ANIMAL RESCUE< OR BREAST CANCER OR THE FOOD BANK> IT CANNOT BE JUST HERE DONATE TO ME I NEED THE MONEY> IM NOT GONG TO TELL YOU WHY U NEED IT JUST GIVE IT TO ME> IF THERE WAS A CHARGE FOR THE SERVICE OF THIS BLOGSITE< IT WOULD MAKE SENSE> BUT THERE IS NO CHARGE OR FEE TO HAVE A BLOG ON BLOGGER> IT IS A ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FREE SERVICE> JOAN IS NOT AN ACTIVITY GROUP> SHE ISN'T A BOTANICAL SOCIETY>L SHE ISN'T A RED HAT LADY GROUP THAT GOES OUT AND DOES GOOD DEEDS IN THE COMMUNITY> NOPE SHE IS JUST JOAN< A FREE LANCE WRITER< WHO IS ASKING FOR YOU TO DONATE TO HER CAUSE< WHICH IS JUST JOAN< JOAN < JOAN> THERE IS NOTHING BUT PURE PROFIT INVOLVED< FOR Joan HERSELF> JOAN CANT GET A JOB IN THE REAL WORLD OF WRITING> A LITERARY PURSUIT IS NOT AN OPINION BLOG> IT MEANS TO SUPPORT LITERACY<

 Literacy programs< reading< as in published books ect> literary pursuits do not mean just a plain blog written by an individual> get that THROUGH YOUR HEAD JOAN> YOU WILL NEED to reveal what you are asking to be funded> not only per paypal but per the state of Hawaii> you wanna go and ream Dustin for launching A canoe NEAR A MONK SEAL? YOU WANNA REAM GARY FOR PROMOTING A LEGITIMATE NON PROFIT WITH ALL OF THE Paperwork AND THEIR DUCKS IN A ROW< THEN YOU BETTER KNOW THE LAW WITH WHAT YOU RE DOING AND have YOUR DUCKS IN A Row then> its as simple as that> the very fact that you have been begging for money on an opinion blog is an outrage>? there are billions of opinion blogs out there>

kauai snarklectic has over 13 THOUSAND PAGEVIEWS< AND OVER 25 THOUSAND Preview's on bloggerf< and int is under 8 weeks old> we Have triple the readership of Joan's blog> you see us slapping up a donating button? nope> because we know we are individuals and not a legit non profit> we don't wanna get into trouble. we aren't dumb> just saying your legit don"t make you legit>

Which means he's created a new funnel for mainland money, what evidcence does Joan have to support this claim?and it will be years before we can see who is supporting this group's agenda and activities.* WHAT EVIDENCE DOES JOAN HAVE TO SUPPORT THIS CALIM? Once again, transparency and disclosure are for the "other guys."What evidence does Joan have to support the claim that HAPA, a LEGITIMATE group, and abiding byh the LAW will not be forthcoming?

While Gary contends HAPA is devoted to fostering “grassroots participation in democracy,” the group has just one campaign: “defending Kauaʻi and all Hawaiʻi from the harmful actions of these companies.” By which is meant the chemical/seed companies.Joan Cornrow made a similar claim, the day she started asking for donations for her blog, claiming she was fostering freedom of speech and democracy. Her blog is an OPINION blog. Her bio States it is jut her, and her observations about what she thinks. It is NOT a journalistic or investigative, or reporting style blog. Joan says "shit",. and WTF" regularly non her blog, makes rude and snarky comments, ect. This is free speech, but does not qualify as a LITERARY pursuit. it is merely an Opinion blog, just like this one.

That made me think of a letter I got from a westside resident who was saying she had supported Gary and the pesticide/GMO regulatory Bill 2491 because she and her neighbors needed some relief.

And while I could certainly understand that desire, I thought, yes, but what relief have they gotten, or will they actually ever get? Nothing has changed, other than what the companies voluntarily agreed to do, in terms of buffers and disclosure. Nor will it change through the years that this badly flawed bill drags through the courts.Produce the letter.

When are people going to wake up and see they are being shamelessly used to further one man's ambitions? CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK> POT MEET KETTLE> JOANS AMBITION IS TO RAISE MONEY FOR HERSELF>Remember, this is the man who told me "it doesn't matter if the bill is enforced. All that matters is getting it passed."

As in giving Gary a new schtick and sound byte with "the little island that could." As Opposed to "Joan who can't"

Meanwhile,  in the real world, no enforcement = no relief is Joan now admitting there is a problem, and an issue that Needs relief? Does this mean, that she renounces all previous comments, commentaries, writings, disparaging, degrading comments, insinuations, assertions, innuendos and blubbering babblings to the contray? Is this an admittance by Joan that she was entirely wrong about everything, and that there really IS something to the whole "Gmo seed companies are spraying poeple and people are getting sick, and they need some relief" argument, an d basis for the bill 2491? Has Joan just admitted defeat? Can Joan not keep her rhetoric straight? Its the little words that will trip you up, usually..

Though Gary claims the group's board of directors is “diverse,” a quick look at the like-minded line-up proves otherwise: Earthjustice attorney Paul Achitoff, Andrea Brower, Aria Juliet Castillo, Lorilani Keohokalole-Torio, Josh Mori, Malia Chun (Councilman Mason Chock's sister), Bart Dame (who I know only from the extremely vicious and ugly hate messages he sent me), Laura Harrelson, Bianca Kai Isaki, Ikaika Hussey, Maui publicist Katie McMillan, Josh Mori, Karen Shishido, Cade Watanabe and good old Walter Ritte Jr.  This list, is in fact, racially, and socioeconomically diverse. What Joan means is thatr there are no corporations, hacks, sell outs, seed company execs or right wing republican tea party jihadist fringe lunatics on it. That's what Joan means, in it "lacks diversity" insinuation. What she REALLY means is...HEY NONE OF MY FREINDS ARE ON IT! WAHHHHH!!!!". Well, Joan, maybe if you acted a little nicer, ploeple would invite you onto these things.

In catering to the non-thinking/group-think set, So, essentially, Joan just called the above well respected statewide group of ethically, morally, and socioeconomincally divers group as STUPID, and DUMB, and UNINTELLIGENT. way to Go, Joan. Thats why your side loses.HAPA has helpfully boiled down its mission to three bumper stickers: Take Back Government; People over Profits, and Think Global, Act Local.

Of course, Gary doesn't mean we should also take back our government from him. Just "the other guys."  Gary's group is not about overtaking the government, it is about citizen participation in the process of governance and civil participation. Something Joan abhors unless your re the group mentioned above that Barca surfed over to get into the mayors office, in our dream sequence above.

And should we vote him out of office, he will blame the dirty deeds of the chem companies — though the anti-GMO movement certainly rivals its foe in that department — and assume the role of martyred victim. Unlike Joan who plays the martyr ALL THE TIME 24 7 in the made up little bubble she lives in, with her blog supporters who hand her wads of cash to keep going with her little closet that shew writes from because she is so poor she can barely scrape together enough to buy herself some GMO corn. We are just being snarky but what other reason would you need for a donation button, when according to Joan she isn't getting much, just a few humble lt of church donations in America have gone to, right? Right?little donations form individuals. Just like the campaigns where each little individual gives a little from an entire corporation to give a lot to certain candidates. yeap. just poor little old ladies on Kauai scraping their last pennies together, like some do to go to church and put that last little penny into the donation basket. And we all know where those poor swweet little old ladies go whe   they wanna get their snark on, when they can't in public on Kauai, don't we? *winksy winky*

The press release says Gary serves as president of HAPA in a volunteer capacity, but you can be certain that should he lose the election, he will quickly be paid to sell his message of “the little island that could.”  Hey, Joan Cornrow, when you sit on boards of directors of a LEGITIMATE NPO, can you be paid to do so? DO most poeple volunteer? Hey Joan arent you attached to the Kauai Foodbank, and other NPOs in some way? DO you volunteer Joan, or do you get paid?Which is what he's been seeking all this time at our expense: a voice on the national — shoots, international; heck, intergalactic  — stage.WHAT EVIDENCE DOES JOAN HAVE FOR THESE STATEMENTS? none. zip. zero. What is she being, kids? all together now...JEALOUS MUCH?????

Meanwhile, whether Gary's a volunteer or paid, his affiliation with HAPA creates a severe conflict of interest for him — and possibly Mason Chock, due to his sister's involvement — in dealing with any issue regarding pesticides, agriculture and the seed/chem companies that comes before the County Council.JOAN CONROW WHAT GROUPS ON KAUAI ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH AND WHO ELSE ARE IN THOSE GROUPS AND ARE THEY RELATED TO ANYONE ELSE ON KAUAI? SEWE< JOAN HAS NO RELATIONS ERE< OR CONNECTIONS> SHE FEELS LONELY< LOST AND UNLOVED> SHEW SO DESPERATELY WANTS TO BE A PART OF THIINGS SHE IS SO BUTTHURT THAT SHE CANT BELONG TO HAPA CUZ SHE WASN'T INVITED> BECAUSE SHE IS MEAN TO POEPLE< VICIOUS< AND JUST PLAIN SNAKRKY> JOAN CONROW DO YOU VOLUNTEER FOR ANY NON PROFIT GROUPS ON KAUAI? JOAN CONROW WHO ARE YOU SOLICITING DONATIONS FOR ON YOUR BLOG? JOAN CONROW IS VOLUNTEERISM AN ACT OF TERRO)RISM< A CRIME< OR SOMETHING REPREHENSIBLE IN YOUR BOOK IF IT IS NOT PRO GMO< AMERICAN FLAG MOM APPLE PIE RIGHT WING CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN JIHADIST NUT JOB EXTREMIST? Just asking. We are curious, thats all! *insert Innocent friendly smile, here*

And that's more than a little troubling, considering there's litigation pending and an environmental and public health impact study to be planned.Its onluy troubling for joan and her little snarkie fistie minions. They are oftem troubled by so many things. trouble trouble, boil and bubble, stir that pot, and acall the kettle black!

Which raises the question of why Gary would place himself in a position that renders him totally useless as a Councilman on the issue nearest and dearest to his heart.For the same reason taht YOU Joan have been champion the interest that is near and dear to YOUR heart, and having long ago being rendered pretty much useless, benighted, and a dry little pillar of salt. and that is of course, YOU. Oh, how you try Joan, you really try dont you. You are so Whatever happened to baby Jane!

Joan and Joan in Whatgever Happened to Baby Jane, witnhb Joan in the Joan ROle!

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/360263/What-Ever-Happened-To-Baby-Jane-Movie-Clip-Miss-Big-Fat-Movie-Star-.html

But then, he's got bigger fish to fry than our dinky little County Council.Just like Joans dinky col little heart. Oh, we meant THAT Joan, not That Joan. Huh? Which Joan? You decide!

"Musings: Prescience and Predictability"

1 – 9 of 9

Anonymous said...

Joan, so if he is re-elected, and the GMO ordinance comes up on Council calendar, wouldn't he have to recuse himself because of conflict? Chair Furfaro, and Councilwoman Yukimura have recused themselves from items where they served on a board related to certain agenda items.

June 6, 2014 at 8:08 AM

Joan Conrow said...

Yes, he would. If he's ethical, that is.But Joan, you said he isn't ethical. oh how snarky you are. oh we get it, you are saying he's not ethical. because doing anything on the island means you have to recuse yourself. that's why Joan doesn't run for public office. Because she would have to recuse herself tool much. because she does so much for the island, selfishly giving back to the place that adores her, by magnanimously typing out endless chocolaty goodness that comes out the other end. God Bless Saint Joan of Snark! Isn't she justa deam of a person? Bless her! *wipes a tear out of our eye*

June 6, 2014 at 8:20 AM

Anonymous said...

BIG IF

June 6, 2014 at 8:41 AM

Anonymous said...

I am very hopeful this election will result in 'Hooser the Political Hack' fading into the sunset. Go Chief Perry.

June 6, 2014 at 9:02 AM

Anonymous said...

Thank you Joan!
-8:08am

June 6, 2014 at 9:37 AM  Joans most sacred Accolytes adhere to her, like an opihi stuck to a rock. they are tenacious loyal, fanatical and oh so full of chocolaty goodness! What sweet, adoring fans she has. See how lovely they talk about fellow Kauaians? Oh wait, they are anons. They could be living in well, say ANYWHERE...we doubt it is Kauai though. Because if they were so proud of themselves they would use thier real names, now wouldnt they? And Joan wouldnt have to protect her racist snarky little money thumping, handing off to Joan selves, now would they? We remember Joan saying something like: "I allow anon postings, because Kauai is a small island, and people would be so afraid to say how they really feel!". Translation: This has nothing to do with free speech, and everything to do with Joan allowing people to be racist, bigotted, insulting, and do hatespeech, and lies in a safe, warm and coddling enviromnment, while she will beat back any comments that may make her "individual" commentators feel "uncomfortable", and even though they don't "agree" with her, they are "donating " to her, becasue, well, she is jsut so awesome and wrapped in the American apple pie goodie two shoes flag for respectability and "Journalism integrity"....which all simply means, boiled down: I WILL GIVE A SAFE HAVEN TO ANYONE THAT WANTS TO BE A RACIST< HATE BAITING< FEAR MONGERING LUNATIC> JUST AGREE WITH ME< HELP ME BEAT UP ON THE PEOPLE I DON"T LIKE< AND GIVE ME MONEY>". Yap, thats about it in a nutshell!

Anonymous said...

Gary Hooser has been an advocate for the little guy and for fair play for many years.
He tried to be fair with his partners when he developed Waioli Gardens and other subdivisions on Kauai. He used other people's money, but he really really tried to pay them back. As a Real Estate magazine magnate, he continued his foray into Big Bucks and he tried to be fair as he charged 2000 bucks per page. Which, finally brings Gary to politics..let's see Real Estate, Publishing and Politics, OMG William Randolph Hearst, right in our midst Now all we need is Philanthropy? I get by with a little help from my friends. I agree with Gary's position on GMOs, but as a Councilman, he gotta go.....Gary, would never "conflict" himself of a Council vote.This is the same as saying "I have concerns about GMO's too!-Joan Conrow quote. Yeah. IT rings that true...NOT. I would have to see this anons Voting record. LOL. And some credible evidence that Joan was, actually "concerned" about GMO's. Double Lol

June 6, 2014 at 12:52 PM

Anonymous said...

"Which means he's created a new funnel for mainland money, and it will be years before we can see who is supporting this group's agenda and activities. "

Speaking of which Joan, your solititations for donations are also a funnel for mainland money. Will you be reporting what interests are supporting your agenda?

June 6, 2014 at 1:19 PM

Joan Conrow said...

Actually, all the donations have been local, and none of them have been "interests," just individuals.

And they've been made by people who appreciate my blog and my writing, not in support of any particular agenda. Indeed, many have made a point of saying they don't always agree with me, but appreciate that I'm here, offering another perspective and reportage not found elsewhere.

June 6, 2014 at 1:51 PM

Anonymous said...

Hey 1:19, maybe you are confused, non profit's have to report, but otherwise, anyone can ask for donations.

June 6, 2014 at 3:54 PM*SEE ABOVE REGARDING THE RULES OF PAYPAL< BLOGGER AND THE STATE OF HAWAII

nonymous said...

1:19 I sent some dollars to Joan and will continue to do so. I respect how she shakes Kauai up. If there was a "pie in the face" contest, Joan would win.She has.........as the Council guys, Corn guys, million dollar boutique farms, old and young hippies, dumb sh*t surfer dudes, the babes, realtors, anti-GMOs, GMOs and many in between rankled. No one else touches the corners of BS, like Joan do. KE is a service. One woman, with a pen. Raises hand slowly...um, Kauai Snarklectic, with 30 thousand pageveiws on Google plus, and 5 thousand on Blogger, and tons on facebook, our readership is around the world, and let us jsut toot our own horn for a moment, we have more of a readership then Joans Blog in the whole time she has had it, in UNDER 8 WEEKS. I think, our Little anon million dollar minyun, Joan has jsut met her match. 
And it isn't us....its Juan Wilson, who has one of the top blogs in the world, and Andy Parks running a close second. Joan stole Andys writing style and technique. Then we stole hers. Fun isnt it? Blogging I mean. Its really dog eat dog out there. Joans blog is jsut a blog to make fun of. That's it. Her outrageous comments, and totally buffoonery are nothing but comedy. The best part about it, is how seriously she tries to make herself seem, and how seriously her and her Snarkie Minyuns take themselves. That is why Kauai Snarklectic exists. Aint life jsut grand?
It is a lot of work to do a blog of this caliber. *LOLZ* What caliber? Joan is only read by a very small handful of the same puny-tunes mainland snowbird racists year after year after nauseating year. It's a little opinion blog. Its not journalism, or if it is, is piss yellow and crap Journalism. Even the rags at the check out counter have more integrity then the  crap spewed out on Joans blog. But I guess if you want to have a pie eating contest, or a pie throwing contest, Joan would definitely be your woman for that. That is right up her alley. Slapshtick Schtick. bathroom Humour. Hey wait, thats up OUR alley too!
I do not like seeing my friends blasted by the Blog, but if you schtick yourself in the public arena you should expect a little backlash.
On the other hand, please lay off Gary Hooser. He knows that Kauai needs mainland money and mainland ideas to reshape the island.Which Friend would you be referring, too Friend, since you so obviously do not live on this island, or are obviously a snowbird. Really? wow, what caring and empathy. Now we know why Joan protects her Little snarky minyuns so well. Because with Friends like these, who needs enemies. But we will keep posting their comments up here, so the rest of the world can see jsut who Joan lets post to her blog. Just keep em coming, and we will keep exposing them. All over the internet. From Sea to Shining Sea.

June 6, 2014 at 4:38 PM

Anonymous said...

You demand other people reveal their financial backers, and question their motives for donating. I just think you should be willing to do the same.

As for not representing "interests," do you expect people who donate to you might be the same people who support a pro-GMO, Pro-Carvalho, Anti-Barca, Anti-Hoosier island?

You know those GMO companies have tons of money for "outreach."

June 6, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Joan Conrow said...

Thanks, 4:38.

To 5 p.m. -- I have only "demanded" that nonprofits and groups engaged in lobbying reveal their financial backers, as is required by law.

As for those who have donated to me, I have no idea who they support politically. But I'd think it highly unlikely they were using GMO "outreach" money.

Still, I understand it's hard for those in the echo chamber to accept that I actually do have broad-based community support.We jsut love when the Queen herself starts whining about I..I..I..I..I..me..me..me..me..me..me..me..and also when she starts talking about echo chambers. Aseptically since she lives for her blog, and reading what other people write, and trying to usurp it take it as her own, and then try and make herself sound like some sort of a Champollion journalist, instead of jsut the snark opinionated beeeeeeeeeyyyaaaaatttttccccchhhhhh that she is. Seriously. Its so sad and pathetic. But of course we love it. Joan sniffles and moans, "see I told you so, I had broad based support". yeah right. If you count goosestep[ping uniform wearing hang out in the forest racist hatespeech and fear mongers for supporters, yeah. Or snowbirds, who wear their racism on their sleeve. Or right wing Republican jihadist looney bins. Yeah. I guess thats broad based communtiy support. Its jsut not OUR Community.

June 6, 2014 at 5:36 PM

Anonymous said...

try this…kinda similiar to the circular arguments about GMO
Guns don't kill people.
People with guns kill people.
People without guns don't kill people with guns because they don't have guns so if people don't have guns then the people won't be killed with guns because the people won't have guns.
Simple.This person was doing shrooms last night. Obviously. The circles are going round and round in this guys head.

June 6, 2014 at 7:35 PM

Anonymous said...

Why did Gary Hooser leave the Senate? He could have been a lot more effective working on the pesticide issue at the state level. But trying to get the county to regulate pesticides and gmo testing seems far fetched.Yeap, sure does. Hang on a second. Gotta scratch ma butt...yeap sure does seem a might far fetched thar don it remeber back in 61 when those darn gosh tootin people of color did them thar marches in Washington? Member that? darn tootin that was p[retty far fetched too...*poots*...oh scuse me...*waves had*...yeap I remeber those good old days. *we are surprised this ancient old geezer dinosaur even knows how to comment on a comp. Lol*

June 6, 2014 at 9:33 PM

Anonymous said...

9:33 Gary left the Senate because he had higher ambitions. He was ineffective as a Senator, he made no alliances and had no influence. *evidence for your statements? Gary was like the head of...everything when he was in the senate. We figure that took some influence. But hey, ok, if you say so, Mr/Ms anon. You must be a real insider. yeah with all that thar secret kind of influence. Yeah, the snark flows freely from your moth, kinda like vomit. But its ok, Joan will protect you. Its not like there are any rules on her blog for people like you. Just the "normals" get censored on her blog. Never the lunatic fringe. Of course, on ours, we get to rip hers to shreds. God bless America.The Senate has its own issues, but they can smell a self glorifying man from a mile away. Gary is friendly, but he is not a man of his word. He would never take a bullet for a buddy, he would leave a soldier in the field and he tells stories out of school. Sooner or later his greed, pride and ego takeover. But then, what do I know? I have only known him since the early 80s. He was a carpet cleaner then. Not bad, carpet cleaner to carpetbagger.OMG...So, You personally know this how? Did you serve in the military with Gary? Do you personally know that he woundt take a  bullet for a  buddy? DO you have some sort of EVIDENCE for your maligning and reaming of this man, whom i DOUBT you know at all. Your prolly got fired from trying to clean carpets cuz you were a lazy ass who did a crappy job, and along came Gary WHO was working more jobs, and now working as a carpet cleaner, and kicked ASS at doing it, making you look like such a schlep they fired your ass? Is that what happened? You're all butthurt? Like little kids in high school? 

Gary Had a job In his 20s as a CARPET CLEANER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought you were gonna say a streetwalker or something. Maybe even a gigolo. But a CARPET CLEANER????? OMG OMG OMG,. I jsut cannot believe It, WHAM A SMOKING GUN!!!!!!! AMAZING OMG THANKS FOR TELLING US ALL OF THIS I MEAN>>>THAT IS JUST SO HORRIFIC>>>I MEAN CLEANING CARPETS AND HAVING A JOB IN YOUR TWENTIES!!! And you KNEW him then????/  

OMG, we so want your autograph! please, please please, cuz I bet you are so world renown, and have done so much for humanity, and you must be so important! Um, by the way...who the fecal are you? LOL Musta been someone who couldn't get a date or something, and Gary could with all of the Jobs he had back in the day. Guess you were jsut pickin your nose b ack then n scratchin your ass, huh? What a winner you must be today! SO h0onored to have read your incredible words. Even more honored to rip you a new hole on our blog.

June 6, 2014 at 10:44 PM

Anonymous said...

Hmmm,
Where is Gary H. from. Background says a lot about a person.Hmmm, really? Background says a lot about a person? seriously? Then pal you are fucking screwed, cuz you dont have one...your ANONYMOUS

June 7, 2014 at 6:06 AM

Anonymous said...

9:33 - That's the best description of GH that I've heard. What his current fans don't understand is that he'll throw them under the bus in a second if he has to.In that case we, here at kauai Snarklectic  hope you are one of his freinds

June 7, 2014 at 10:58 AM

Anonymous said...

Anonymous comments that disparage others have no credibility. What was/is your relationship to Gary? That would be revealing and give a clear understanding if you have an agenda or not. Perhaps Gary was an independent in the lege and didn't play political football with the "big boys" because it would compromise his values. Joan is adamant that Gary is grandstanding. I can't buy that hook, line and sinker. I thought he was generally sincere and professional in his handling of 2491 hearings, giving equal time to all. When seed companies refused to answer many questions he asked, is the only time I saw some frustration.

I'm sure there was some feeding of the ego but everyone on the council is guilty of that.
I don't know him personally but I don't get the impression that he's insincere.

June 7, 2014 at 11:46 AM

Anonymous said...

@ June 7, 2014 at 11:46 AM

"I can't buy that hook, line and sinker."

I think you bought GH "hook, line and stinker." LOL!keep fishin snarkie fisties you will find that minnow yet!

June 7, 2014 at 12:27 PM

Anonymous said...

Joan, do you really think what we have now as far as councilmembers would be better than Hooser?

I donʻt always agree with his methods and mannerisms but come on, he does not seem to be of that mindset to squeeze everything you can from this island like Yukimura, Asing, Bynam, and others that have been so visionless and on the side of developers ALWAYS. They are blatant sell-outs.

I really donʻt see Hooser as that kind of person.
I fear someone like Perry getting in. Donʻt trust him nor his criminal brother Warren.

June 7, 2014 at 12:51 PM

Anonymous said...

The SAME people in office will produce the SAME results....because they are unable to think outside of the narrow little boxes they live in.

It will be more of the same unless we get some "new blood" that is not connected to the GMO companies, the GOB, and the money train and power.

Zero Seven

June 7, 2014 at 2:11 PM

Anonymous said...

Joan, I can just hear you screaming.We wish we could. We need your super duper power of hearing, dude

June 7, 2014 at 5:26 PM

Anonymous said...

Gary was a developer and realtor. Don't be fooledWait, we thought you guys LOVED developers! You mean to say you re anti developement? We thought you guys LOVED realtors. DO you mean you arent for Omiyadars dairy? OH MY GOD JOAN LOOK>>>THERE IS A HERETIC IN YOUR MIDST>>>burn him at the stake, quick!.

June 7, 2014 at 5:34 PM

Anonymous said...

11:46 Ain't no body that ain't a smart bidniss person on Kauai that would answer any thing from Hooser or Bynum. It is best to not even have a meeting. These 2 are out to gitcha, Big-Ag knows it, PMRF knows it, Hotels know it....why talk to the 2 fistees when you know they are out gitcha? and now, Kauai they have gots you...TWO years hence, Bynum is bye bye (happily eating his way thru the Council's gift of 300K), da Hoos is a high paid, big cheese at the Ecclesiastical HAPA Court of Business Throttling and Kauai is reeling, paying millions of bucks to Big Ag for lost Ag income and repairing the social/racial disharmony caused by the duos actions....my,my,my.EPIC FAIL! Hahahahha. DUDE DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB> NO ONE WRITES BABBLE BETTER THEN WE DO. BUT WE APPRECIATE THE EFFORT< BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO COPY KAUAI SNARKLECTIC STYLE< YOU NEED TO STEP OFF> NO ONE DOES IT LIKE WE DO!

June 7, 2014 at 6:57 PM

Anonymous said...

We were all unenlightened in one way or another before. Itʻs the state of mind we are in at the present that is important. And our core values.

June 7, 2014 at 6:59 PM

Anonymous said...

There's something to be said for finishing the job. When you don't, that says a lot about your core values.

June 7, 2014 at 10:56 PM

Anonymous said...

Too bad, there is a new york state of mind here now

June 8, 2014 at 6:04 AM

Anonymous said...

This is a bunch of nonsense.

Make a case, plain and simple.
Especially June 7, 2014 at 6:57 PM with your fake pidgeon.

June 8, 2014 at 9:00 AM

Anonymous said...

Whoever is the anon posting @6:57... All your posts come off as unreadable gibberish cause of all those ridiculous affected mannerisms you use. If you ever hope to make a point, just start writing in a normal manner.YEAH!  THAT'S OUR JOB! Damn ameteurs!

June 8, 2014 at 11:57 AM

Snarkie Fistie Bloggers, Joan Conrow's Million Dollar Minyuns. Kinda Like Fun-Yuns, only they taste like crap.

THATS ALL FOLKS! FROM THE THREE MUSES WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS POST< TODAY BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE INTERNATIONAL SNARKISTS SOCIETY> REMEMBER THE SNARK YOU TYPE TODAY< COULD BE THE SnARK THAT IS REMEMBERED TOMORROW!

Kauai Snarklectgic Publishing Team