Loam Bummedrow is the King of Snark. No, not just the King of snark but the EMPEROR of Snark. There is no one, on our wonderful little island of Kamawailualanimoku, that has done more for the beloved "I am a real author, and writer" intro post then Loam. Loam, can expound on birds, sunsets, beautiful trees, and the tender, sacred little protected birdies, and cute puppies and kitties, and then, Can turn into a "Rabid Reporter", whose style he clearly hacked form someone with way more page views and intellect, then he has, and frankly way more hair and a much cooler blog name.
Loam loves to be all things to all people. He is the beloved, champion environmentalist, while at the same time reaming every environmentalist he can. He loves to expound, and grab quotes, and get secret documents, and cater to the lowest common denominator of snarkist that there possibly are on the planet. He allows numerous, voluminous anon posters, yet if someone uses their name he rips them to shreds. While at the same time, telling everyone what a great citizen he is, because he protect little birdies, and gives to the food bank.
Loam thinks that anyone who doesn't think like he does is wrong. And he also thinks that person deserves the highest order of snark possible. Really, reaming kind of snark. Like your poo stinks and mine doesn't kind of snark.
Ya really gotta admire that. Every time Loam thinks that a friend doenst agree with them, loam has no problem in dissing said friend, and writing them off. Even if loam still has to show face in the community. that is high end snark. The kind of snark that all snarkists should aspire too.
Here is some typical examples of Loams High end snark abilities:
"You people are clearly brainwashed. Only people who think lockstep think that kind of stuff. You are all polka dotted and blue striped. You aren't from here. You stink, and you smell and you are stupid. And here are some links to show you just how wrong and stupid you are:"
Loam loves when people love what loam writes, because Loam is a REAL writer, and a Real reporter. That's why Loam doesn't actually have a job as a real reporter, or as a real writer. That's why Loam has a blog that Loam begs donations for His blog. Because Loam is just so LOAMY.
Loam doesn't care if you like him or not. He doesn't care if you try to be nice, or mean. If you are nice, Loam will still ream you a new hole. If you are mean, Loam will just "moderate" your posts, and allow others to call you great big stinking loads of caca and doodoo, but keep you from posting a rebuttal.
Now that is the Kind of snark that is academy award winning, Pulitzer prize winning kind of snark. That, my friends, is something that Loam will never have. A Pulitzer prize, that is.
*Gender may or may not have been changed to the wrong gender of said Snarkist, but there wasn't an "other option, so I kinda went with the flow*
Feel free to snark back, fellow snarkists!
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OK, Snarkists here are the rules. You need to show your real name. Or we just ban you. We don't do anon posting here. So you need to have a legit ID.Don't like it, too bad. We don't moderate here. We just simply ban you. All you can do, is take a chance, and see if your post survives to make it onto the blog. But life is a gamble, isn't it? Kinda like when you posted your first snarky comment, kinda gave you a rush, huh? Just think of this in the same way.
Happy Snarkin!