NEW UPDATED SMOKING GUN Joan Conrow is on a Snark High, pumping out Pure Snark, and we love her for it! RIps Kimo Rosen a New Hole Which we hate on her for! The Regina Of Rage is loose!

Joan on her daily walk, going incognito to infiltrate whatever she is interested in infiltrating today!

 ***NEW UPDATE***** Joan stated that the Haoles who had children born and raised here and invited everyone to come to this island are the worst most hypocritical haters and caused all the probloems those bad poeple who brought freinds and family here it was all them...WELL HERE IS WHAT WE FOUND!


IN 2003, JOAN CONROW PUBLISHED A TOURSIT GUIDE FOR THE ISOAND OF KAUAI ENCOURAGING POEPLE TO COME TO HAWAII FROM THE MAINLAND> JOAN WE GOT YA HERES THE SMOKING GUN EVERYONE hAS BEEN WAITING FOR AND WE HAVE IT EXPLUSIVELY RIGHT HERE< ON KAUAI SNARKLECTIC!************

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 JOAN CONROW THE HIGHEST LOWEST SNARK< AND FRANKLY JUST A TOTAL FAIL> HOW MANY TIMES HAS SHE REAMED PEOPLE FOR COMING TO PARADISE AND ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO COME< AND WITH THEIR FAMILIES TOO NOW< SHE RIPS THEM A NEW HOLE FOR IT BUT GUESS WHO WAS DOING THE INVITING: NONE OTHER THEN JOAN CONROW HERSELF>


SPREAD THE WORD  PEOPLE LET'S GET THE TRUTH OUT THERE ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!

(regular post)
Now, we at Kauai Snarklectic really started this blog because of Joan Conrow. It was her who gave us the impetus, while steam poured out from our ears, and frankly, we got a little group together, and decided to do something about it. Then we realized there was a whole pack of she wolves out there, and one loan ranger. And no one to even the score. Well, that's where we come in.

SO, today, we are totally no holds barred, because the ragers have been on a total high, since 2491 supporters, and now the new bill 960 is upon them. They simply cannot have it, or handle it. They are completely apoplectic. They don't care if Santa Clause, Jesus., the Dali lama, and God himself is promoting the simple act of letting people know what is being sprayed on them. And this from a woman claiming to be an environmentalist. Wanna watch Joan rage off the charts on her blog? Accuse her of loving GMO's, and accuse her of being on the dark side, or accuse her of being a two faced lunatic. She always lambastes people with, "Don't assume to know where my heart is, or what I think, or what I know, blah blah blah.".


Well, Joan, if it walks like a GMO, acts like a GMO, talks like a GMO, blogs like a GMO, smells like a GMO, eats like a GMO, and RAGES against literally EVERYONE who supports the other side of an issue, lets just break this down,

1. It's not "work.". Its pure snark and opinion.

2. It's not "reporting, researching or investigating". Its using google search, and using other peoples stuff and words.

3. Hypocrisy goes both ways, and it is hypocritical to : a. ream people from the mainland, when you yourself are from the mainland. B. GO after peoples children. That's like amoebae kind of snark. Like dodo logs kinda snark. Very low class. c. go after people who are native Hawaiian, while you are trying to ream others for being haole.

4. The blog is just that a blog, yet you are trying to treat it as some sort of an official published "author" type of a deal. When it is nothing of the sort. It is a personal blog, with your personal opinions, as you say yourself in your sidebar.

5. You are NOT an environmentalist. No where in the original penned "spring" do you find anyone like yourself. You are like those Christians that say "Lord, Lord,", but will never enter the kingdom of heaven. You will of course enter the kingdom of snark, but it is in a much lower place.

SO, lets move onto the posts. and we will slice, dice and eviscerate them. But NOT before we go for our little "walk". This is how we imagine Joan in the morning, prancersizing her way through a path, somewhere in an undisclosed location on Kauai.

You Red shirts better get outta here, and go back to the mainland!

I can do what I want on my blog!

You all think you are so smart, but I am so much more smarterer!

See these boots? They were made for walking all over you idiot do gooders!

Just try and mess with the Empress of Snark! I will ream you a hole so wide, they can drive a tractor through it!

Come on, lets beef, I hate EVERYONE!

You guys think your cute filming me don't you? Well, your not yanno. I should have you arrested for harassment!

Come back here, you Hooserite Fisties, I'm not done with you yet!

OOh, lookie a little birdie and some flowers, gee doesn't this air smell prertty, ooh look at the sunrise, is that a MOTHERFUCKING RED SHIRT OVER THERE? GRRRR!!!!!

We would sincerely like to apologize, to the lady that is actually in this video, but we were way too lazy to just paste Joans face on the screen caps. Sorry Prancersize Lady!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so now that we have these images burned into our brains....*shivers*, lets get to the posts, shall we?

First, lets take a look at some of the people, that Joan is reaming today, and lets remind ourselves what Joan looks like, shall we?

Kaiulani Mahuka. Kahu(Hawaiian Minister) Native Hawaiian, and respected activist, surfer, caregiver, and Hawaiian Cultural Practitioner. Unlike Joan she has actual DONE something for her community and people, rather then just snark out and rage on a little opinion blog.

Kimo Rosen, who is now a paid guest writer for the Garden Island so we can understand why Joan is seeing green. Kimos post today in the Garden Island was epic, and drew praises from EVERYONE. Everyone, accept the Queen of Mean, mainlander transplant Joan, who calls the kettle black so much the kettle is sick of it, and thinking of changing its color to green, for envy, greed, and more envy and greed!

Gary Hooser, self made man, who has been here since he was a teenager. HE got a job, owned a business worked like hell, and was a publisher. SO right there, that gets Joan seeing green. Maybe she couldn't get her stuff published, who knows. Whatever the reason, if you have made something of yourself, no matter who or where you came from, whether you are Native Hawaiian, kamaaina, born and raised haole...Joan just hates your guts. And shes gonna let you know, by blogging about it.

Fern Rosentiel, part Hawaiian, born and raised here, in Hawaii, and someone who has degrees, and leads a very good life. And is younger and prettier, talks better and way smarter. So of course, Joan, rips into this girl. Why? Because she got off her ass, and actually helped to write 2491, which has made headlines around the world, and became the bill 960, which talks about making sure that GMO companies, that use restricted use pesticides around Kauai people are monitored, and reports are made, and people know what they are spraying. Wow, yeah, that's like worthy of hell,l forever. At least in Joan's world. Remember, Joan claims to be an envormentalist and not like GMOs. Can you say quacks like a duck gotta be a duck anyone?

Vessilina Jeliazkova, who wrote about the experience, with Mahuka ande Rosentiel, as a Native Hawaiian shares the culture, breaks through racial lines and divides, (Mahuka), and invites people to understand that there is a new breed on Kaua'i. When the Hawaiians invite you in, you don't shut the door in their face. Unknown to Joan, (because she really doesn't know the people that she reams), Kaiulani is a real card carrying papapala sila nui KAHU, IE, she is ALLOWED to do these ceremonies, and has the right to. IT is HER CHOICE to allow people into HER ceremonies, and it is HER RIGHT to conduct them as SHE SEES FIT. Vessilina wrote a beautiful piece about, it. That really REALLY irks Green (with envy) to the Bone Joan. Because again someone else is getting published besides HER. She is steaming mad about that, because she is supposed to be the only person that can write stuff on Kauai.

U.S. Representative, and frankly far more intelligent and accomplished then Joan is, and she is born and raised in Kauai, from Plantation background. Now, we don't always agree with her, but frankly we have no idea what Joan is talking about here. But the fact remains, that Joan has a M.O., that reeks all through her posts and "writing" if you can call it that. Frankly we just think its pure snark, rage, diss, and piss on everyone you can think of, that doesn't give YOU the time of day, or is just doing more then you ever could, Joan. Anyways, eyah Joan likes to go after EVERYONE, born and raised locals, Hawaiians, born and raised haoles, kamaaina, and just people that do more then she does, and get their stuff published more then her stuff is. Colleen Hanabusa is yet another one to fall to the Green envy of Joan who cuts to the bone.

Micah Kane, and his very nice ohana. Hawaiian, born and raised. Wife too. All the kids are born here tuoo. Joan rips Micah. If anyone thinks that Joan Conrow loves Hawaiians or has any respect for them, check out our other blogposts. Joan rips into any local person who has achieved anything in their lives. if JOAN says YOU ARE A PUNK, then YOU ARE A PUNK. Even this very nice family man, as Joan "reminisces" over the way "she used to write.". It is clear that Joan has become a bit unhinged. Going after Micah is a really low blow. We just want everyone to see it, see the faces, see whom Joan is reaming. ANd draw your own conclusions about her blog, and writing. Manini, crap, and hewa, basicly.

This is what Joan sees, when she sees Young, energetic kids, out there for a cause, of all races creeds and nationalities getting involved, and doing their thing to make the world a better place. Joan hates this. This really bothers Joan. Even if the kids are born and raised here. Because their skin is white, and their PARENTS were from the MAINLAND!. Like Joan. Who doesn't have any "anchor babies", i guess. Yeah, Joan, "anchor babies" have no right to say anything about the island they were born and raised on. This is Joan's mentality. And this, from a Caucasian Mainlander who was NOT born and raised here. She goes on to say that those parents shouldn't have had kids, or the kids should have told the parents not to have a job to support them, or those people should have left the island. Yeah, Joan, and you should be the first to leave, if that is your reasoning. Seriously. Epic Snark. Stupid snark, but epic, just for its sheer stupidity.

Joan Conrow, Loam Cornrow, Loan Cornrow. You Decide. What fits best? The author of the Kaua'i Eclectic blog, which in her own words are her "Observations". She isn't claiming to be an investigative reporter. She is however claiming to be a writer. She has written a book for tourists on how to tour Kauai. That much we know for sure. Anything else, is strictly smokey mirrors and fugly shadows.

EVERYONE ELSE ON THE WHOLE PLANET THAT DOESN'T AGREE WITH THE QUEEN OF GREEN ENVY, JOAN CONROW#, and all of her other blogging opinionated non published, non credentialed, and non earth changing pals. The common thread between Joan and all of these snarkists, is that not one of them has done a single solitary thing that made the earth go..."WOW THAT WAS EPIC!". And its not likely to happen, either.

SO, kids, below, we have highlighted the best snark. Read it yourself, we really can't do it any more Justice then that. Racially hated on all sides, Joan simply HATES. There is no love in this woman. She is a dry, husk of a soul. We just hope that this blogpost gores viral and EVERYONE sees this woman for what she is. Confused, Lost, anal, retentive, and simply a FAIL, even at snark. But she is still the Empress of FAIL snark, though.


Of that there can be no doubt.


Leave a comment, and lets get this partay started!

HIGHLIGHTED SNARK IS IN RED ALSO DISS<PISS<VINEGAR AND RAGE TOO! LET'S THROUGH IN RACE-BAITING< HATRED< AND PREJUDICE FOR GOOD MEASURE AND ENVY AND JEALOUSY FOR A ONE TWO PUNCH,SHALL WE?

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Musings: To the Victor

When the Washington, D.C.-based Center for Food Safety opened up shop in Honolulu, its new director, Ashley Lukens, claimed: “The [anti-GMO] movement here is vibrant. It’s been able to achieve some victories here that elsewhere are impossible.”

With both the Kauai and Hawaii Island ordinances being challenged in court, and Monsanto vowing to wage a fight against the Maui ballot initiative, it's unclear whether any political changes will be achieved. Just as it's unclear exactly what CFS considers a victory, or how it defines vibrant, considering the movement has failed to gain traction on Oahu, the major population center.

But there is no doubt it has been able to do things here that would be impossible elsewhere, as it galvanized disaffected kama'aina youth looking for a scapegoat and newcomers desperate to belong.

First, the scapegoat. As a reader commented:

If you grew up on Kaua’i then it’s impossible to not feel the environmental decline of our island. And we all are frustrated. 2491 was the result of that frustration. For the first time people felt that they could make a difference. It was not a movement of big money. It was a movement of mostly Kaua’i youth crying out for a change in the status-quo. The details of the bill, to many involved, were irrelevant. It was standing up for the fight that mattered.

Of course, big money did enter the movement — as soon as Councilman Gary Hooser brought in the Center for Food Safety.

But what really struck me was how so many of the frustrated youth who grew up on Kauai are the offspring of mainlanders who moved here in the 1960s-80s and sold real estate to and built luxury homes for part-timers who drove up land prices and closed off accesses. They started businesses that catered to tourists; invited their friends and families to move here, too, and in other ways contributed to the environmental decline and created the status quo their kids are complaining about. But instead of going off on Mom and Dad, or, gasp, looking at their own complicity, they targeted an easy outside enemy: biotech.

From there it was a snap to find soldiers among the legions of young and old newbies who had also moved here believing they'd found paradise, and were anxious to fit into a community that is cliquish, provincial and often racist. With the community radio station pumping out non-stop propaganda on its “public affairs” talk show and the local newspaper asleep at the wheel, it was a cinch to mobilize an impassioned crowd behind the simplistic slogan, “defend what you love.”

The power of that dynamic became even more clear when I read a guest editorial in today's paper by Vesselina Jeliazkova. It was about a recent action at Kahili River to access waterfalls that have been blocked by a man who is building a lavish mansion on ag land — a practice that some of us have been fighting, and that others, including some of the aforementioned disaffected and their parents, have been abetting. Vesselina writes:

Getting to Kilauea Falls was the goal.

“By law at the end of the river, kanaka blood line decedents can continue up the river, to gather and practice their spiritual practices. This right is preserved for native people in our Hawaii state laws,” Fern [Rosenstiel] informed us.

Out of 15-20 of us, maybe two or three people fit the kanaka blood line requirements. However, we all secured our water transportation and went into the quest: To see what turned out to be one of the most beautiful waterfalls I have ever seen.

Kaiulani Mahuka spoke before everyone went into the water and onto our mission with all kinds of boards and canoes.

“Because you are here to do the kuleana you are the new Hawaiians!” he [sic] said. “Repeat after me: I am the new Hawaiian.”

And we did.

Three times.

It was the first time since I have been here that I was told to say out loud that “I am the new Hawaiian.” It was the first time for a lot of people. I liked it. It felt powerful. Made me stick my chest out proud. It sounded like we were all saying, “I ku mau mau! Stand up together!” from a famous Hawaiian chant shared by Pua Kanaka’ole from David Malo’s Hawaiian Antiquities.

“When you do the work to honor aina and ohana (family), even if you don’t have the Hawaiian blood, you are still thinking like a Hawaiian, where the land and stewardship of it comes first. When you step up to protect the aina that makes you Hawaiian,” Kaiulani passionately added on her farewell power speech.

Far be it from me to determine who is kanaka and who is not.

Still, I found it fascinating that Vesselina's piece followed one by James “Kimo” Rosen, who wrote about how much he hates the standard Hawaii question: How long have you lived here? He then goes on to make his case:

I was always under the impression that a person who actually moves on their own free will is actually where they want to be by choice, whereas a person born wherever and who never leaves is only there because their parents happened to live there the day they were born.

The newcomer has gone out of their way to be in Hawaii, which actually makes one a stronger Hawaiian. Like a convert to a religion, they are usually the strongest congregants because that religion is their choice, not just a religion into which they were born.

Hoo boy. 

It is easy, in this strange milieu of deputized Hawaiians, self-declared Hawaiians, locals, local haole and actual kanaka, to galvanize, polarize and otherwise manipulate a community into political actions. It's continuing now, with the push to get that clearly illegal charter amendment on the ballot.

All of which allows Center for Food Safety to proclaim its victories. But as I noted, we don't yet know how CFS, with its very specific, big money-financed agenda,GMOS ARENT BIG FINANCED AGENDAS LOL)defines victory.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Musings: Nature of Change

Mist crept through the valleys and mynah birds lived dangerously, scavenging road kill from warm asphalt, when the dogs and I went walking this morning. Haze had faded the mountains to pale blue and the sky was slashed with streaks of shell pink that turned gold as the sun smoldered in a bed of red-orange coals. 

Though each day begins, and ends, quite differently, it seems that some things never change at all, or in totally unexpected ways — a concept that hit home as I recently pawed through clips representing a quarter-century-plus of my reportage in Hawaii.

Like the August 2004 Honolulu Weekly piece on then-Mayor Bryan Baptiste's plan to turn the Hanapepe dog pound — abandoned as unfit for animals — into a drug rehab center for teens as part of his fight against drug abuse. A decade later, meth use is even more rampant and we're still talking about an adolescent treatment facility. This time, though, it's near the new dump.

I ran across a whole slew of stories I wrote on the Department of Hawaiian Homes, including one published on Feb. 23 1996 in the Star-Bulletin, back when Kali Watson was the chair and all giddy because for the first time in its history, the agency had money. Yes, the Lege had promised to pay DHHL $30 million annually for 20 years for past breaches of the homelands trust, and “we're just accelerating like hell on our housing program,” Watson said

(AND YET JOAN HAS NO PROBLEMS DISSING NATIVE HAWAIIANS WHEN IT SUITS HER PURPOSES EITHER>).

Yet the waiting list continued to grow.

Fast forward a decade, and Micah Kane was running DHHL. In an August 2006 article for Honolulu Weekly, I reported on his plan to boost revenues by issuing a bunch of commercial leases. He had grand schemes for Kauai, specifically the Wailua corridor, where DHHL was going to build 600 to 700 homes, schools, shops, a Kamehameha Schools preschool and community centers on the mauka side of the highway. To pay for it, Kane wanted to develop 600 to 800 resort units on land it owns around Lydgate Park. Work was supposed to begin by 2009. But Kane got a way better gig as a Bishop Estates trustee and all that stuff got shelved.

Now here we are, eight years later, and the agency is still wildly dysfunctional, still burning through money with little or nothing to show for it, the waiting list is still growing and folks are still dying before they ever get an award. Will DHHL ever be anything but tragic?

I found stories dating back 20 years on the traffic problem in Kapaa, with the businesses there constantly begging for relief, which was supposed to be provided first by the bypass, then by the second bypass, then by widening the highway in front of Coco Palms, then by contra flow, then by widening the Wailua bridge. Now we're told just to suck it up, cuz it's gonna cost way more money to fix than we'll ever get and besides, the state is more interested in the Lihue to Kalaheo corridor now.

(THERE WERE A LOT OF GREAT WRITERS ON KAUAI> JEAN HOLMES FOR ONE< THE ORIGINAL EDITOR OF THE GARDEN ISLAND THERE WAS A REAL REPORTER> HOW ABOUT ANNE OMALLEY STILL DOING A GREAT JOB WRITING AND DOING REAL REPORTING. THIS WAS JOAN WHEN SHE USED TO DO STUFF WITHOUT REAMING PEOPLE> BUT JOAN HAS LOST HER TOUCH AND SUNK INTO THE DEEP DARK PIT OF SNARK> THERE IS NO GETTING HERSELF OUT OF IT NOW> SHE IS STUCK IN THE MUCK OF HER OWN MAKING> HER CREDIBILITY< BRAGGING< AND GLOATING AND SAYING LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME IM SOMEBODY DAMNIT I COULDA BEEN AN CONTENDER!>doesn't WORK FOR US, Joan, OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER. ITS snark fail of the highest order. please, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!

Which brings me to a March 2, 2007 article I published in Kauai Island News:

Next time you’re creeping along in Kapaa’s traffic, just remember — it wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.

Back in 1972, when the island had 21,000 residents and two major employers — sugar cane and pineapple — county planners laid out zoning for the region between Nukolii and the Coconut Marketplace, envisioning a mix of small resorts and commercial centers, with worker housing sprinkled in.

“It was supposed to be like a little Waikiki, kind of low key, not the damn mess we have now,” says Keith Nitta, the county’s long-range planner, who retired last December.

No one anticipated, 35 years ago, that sugar and pine would collapse, gentleman’s estates would sprawl over farmland and beachfront property would fetch outrageous prices. That’s why the parcel across from Safeway was developed into the 190-unit Waipouli Beach timeshare resort, instead of the affordable employee housing envisioned when the land got its apartment zoning, he says.

It’s not the last resort that will be built on the eastside, either. Coco Palms is planning to reopen, while two hotel/condo projects proposed for a vacant parcel north of Coconut Marketplace would add 547 units.

Meanwhile, intensive residential development is proceeding on agricultural lands at Wailua Homesteads and Kealia — another scenario county planners weren’t expecting.

“No one thought Lihue Plantation would go belly up and Amfac would sell all its land,” Nitta says. “And look what we got: Kealia Kai, Kealia mauka, Kulana. Now we’re getting these big giant subdivisions."

I thought, gee, I wonder what we're missing now that's gonna bite folks in the ass 30 years down the road. Failing to account for climate change? Building too close to the ocean? Allowing our ag land to be gentrified?

But hey, at least the Navy stopped bombing Kahoolawe. Now practice war games are held at sea — screw the marine mammals — and amid the depleted uranium at Hawaii Island's Pohakuloa Training Area. Indeed, Rep. Colleen Hanabusa has introduced a bill to make PTA "the premier training range" in the region.  She wants to "upgrade" PTA with a runway capable of handling C-17 transport planes. And as West Hawaii Today reported:

Additionally, the military would relocate a high-speed vessel to assist with transportation. 

Hmmm. Could that be a reference to one of the two Superferry catamarans that so coincidentally, and conveniently, ended up in the Navy's fleet?

Posted by Joan Conrow at 8:48 AM 10 comments: 

In conclusion, Joan is a total fail, at basically everything. Being a good neighbor, a transplant from the mainland, a lover of the Hawaiians, and just a lover of people in general. she was once a writer, like many on Kauai. She was interesting, if not kinda a yawn to read and long winded. But now, she is just failing. Her snark is failing. But her pissing on everyone is epic, but in a really bad creepy way. When you start raging at EVERYONE, and doing the "Whatever happened to baby Jane Routine, and claiming destitution begging for donations for a free blog, it is time to HANG IT UP!

Seriousy

Amene.

The Kauai Snarklectic PUBLISHING TEAM.